It is Wednesday, my Great Ones! And the market. Is. Dead.
No, no, not from the incessant selling and tearing to shreds of weeks past. Great Ones, we have entered the deep, murky waters of … the December doldrums.
Dun, dun, dun!
Thank you for the dramatic gravitas! Tis the season when the ever-roaring faucet of market news turns into a drizzling driblet of Wall Street shenanigans. That’s all to say … it’s quiet out there. Too quiet.
Seriously, did I miss the memo to disappear? Hello … anybody?
Anyway, leave it to Great Stuff to break the comfortable silence with some extra-special holiday Greatness. Or at least, whatever is rumbling around the market today.
Great Ones, what do you do to make up for two years of canceled travel plans? You drop one-tenth of a million dollars to go sailing around the world for nine months on a floating metropolis!
At least, that’s what cruise line captain Royal Caribbean (NYSE: RCL) is counting on, anyway…
This seafaring stranger hopes the sweet siren’s call of its new, nine-month-long Ultimate World Cruise will lure vengeful vacationers back into international waters … for the low, low price of $100,000.
Guests aboard these cruises will visit every continent during their stay and enjoy more than 150 unique excursions — not to mention an unlimited open bar, which is teetotally the main draw of cruises to begin with. (I don’t have a problem; you have a problem!)
Few industries have been hit harder by the COVID-19 pandemic than cruises, and Royal Caribbean’s latest venture was meant to capture cash from post-pandemic travelers hellbent on escaping their beige bungalows.
Or, as those in the industry are calling it … “revenge travel.” Ah yes, just like R.E.M. said: Cruising well is the best revenge.
Royal Caribbean’s plan was likely hatched before Omicron “oopsie-daisied” everything, and it’ll be interesting to see how many people jump ship if this latest tidal wave of infections doesn’t get under control.
We’ve never mentioned Naked Brands (Nasdaq: NAKD) in Great Stuff because, well, it’s a struggling “intimate apparel” stock that’s been on the verge of delisting from the Nasdaq for several years … and that’s all she wrote.
But now Naked Brands thinks itself something of a car company, having recently made moves to acquire privately held electric vehicle (EV) engineer Cenntro Automotive Group.
Yeah. Cause it makes total sense to go from making clothes to manufacturing cars. In fact, I don’t know why more companies don’t make that logistical leap…
To make this story even weirder, Naked Brands just announced that its shares will start trading on the Nasdaq on a 1-for-15 split-adjusted basis. Apparently, this was the only way Naked Brands could meet the minimum share requirement to stay listed on the Nasdaq and pay for its EV interloper.
Naked investors … erm, NAKD investors must be just as perplexed by the company’s about-turn as I am because the shares sold off hard when the market opened for trading today. I guess when it comes to underwear-merchants-turned-EV-makers, it pays to just stay in your lane.
Or, hear me out … you can invest in real bonafide EV plays?
Thanks for the reminder! One former Tesla employee just released a brand-new innovation promising to make every EV out there instantly obsolete. And it goes beyond just EVs… (Click here for the full story.)
Great Stuff Picks investors! Your time to shine has come.
Ugh … I thought all I had to do was read and look at memes?
Well, any of you invested in CarMax (NYSE: KMX) might be interested to know the used-car superstar just dropped the earnings reports of all earnings reports — a fanciful financial feast that trounced expectations across the board.
Earnings came in at $1.63 per share and topped estimates for $1.45 per share with room to spare. Revenue rocketed up 65% to reach $8.5 billion, while analysts only expected $7.378 billion. So much precision to be so … wrong.
Used-car sales are surging to record levels, and online sales now make up about 30% of CarMax’s overall revenue — up from 20% this time last year.
After a report like that, KMX stock must be up big, right? Not at all! The sucker’s down about 5% today … because of course it is.
Fret not, KMX investors! BlackBerry’s (NYSE: BB) latest earnings proved that, once again, tremendous reports are horrible … and poor earnings are great!
Yep, Wall Street’s back to its fickle, fickle self. Again.
The chonky phone maker turned cybersecurity sleuth reported a mixed bag for BB investors (or any degenerate gambler with a brokerage account).
Revenue came in at $184 million and beat estimates for $173.6 million, but that’s still down from $218 million last quarter. On the plus side, adjusted earnings came in at breakeven, whereas analysts expected a loss of $0.07 per share. So, BlackBerry has that going for it, which is … well, not much.
For its part, BlackBerry kept its confident cyber head held high, noting: “On the cybersecurity front, we saw further traction for our recent unified endpoint security product launches with additional head-to-head wins against other next-gen players.”
Regardless, the stock sold off immediately before quickly rallying back to the green by day’s end. Meanwhile … KMX is still sliding off into the abyss and never turned back despite its arguably better report. So she goes.
Now, before we go, I hope you’re ready to kick off that most wonderful time of the year … tax time!
I know, I know … the new year hasn’t even begun, but tax season waits for no one. (I think Ben Franklin said that, right?) Once you’re done leaving out cookies, milk and your 1099 for the taxman, check this out:
Asset protection expert Ted Bauman outlines these sneaky — but 100% legal — tax tips inside a comprehensive report called Slash Your Taxes.
These tax tips are anything but ordinary … and they could help you keep more of your hard-earned money.
And once you’ve finished hearing from Ted, write to us!
Rants, raves and your favorite recipes — we want it all. Send us an email whenever the market muse calls to you! [email protected] is where you can reach us best.
In the meantime, here’s where you can find our other junk — erm, I mean where you can check out some more Greatness:
Until next time, stay Great!